Band: Weird Al
Album: Audio File Album
Song: headline news

Once, there was this kid who 
   Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint. 
   And when he finally came back, 
   He had cane marks all over his bottom. 
   He said that it was from when 
   The warden whacked it so hard. 
   Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. 
  
   Once there was this girl who 
   Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion. 
   And when she finally made it, 
   She saw some other girl who was better. 
   And so she hired some guy to 
   Club her in the kneecap. 
   Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. 
   Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. 
  
   They got paid for their sound bites, 
   And sold their TV movie rights. 
  
   And then, there was this guy who 
   Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner. 
   And when he finally came to, 
   He found that Mr. Happy was missing. 
   He couldn't quite explain it, 
   It'd always just been there. 
   Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. 
   Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. 
  
   Ahh ahh ahh ahh. Ahh ahh ahh ahh. 
   Ahh ahh ahh ahh. Ahh ahh ahh ahh.

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